I don't what know what it is that makes me be un-fun. What makes anyone be a stick in the mud? Fear of embarrassing yourself. Familial or peer disapproval. Fear that whatever you find fun can actually be harmful to yourself or others. Memories of consequences or regrets brought to you at night by the Ghost of Too-Much-Fun Past. Lack of funding for fun-ness. Or not even truly knowing what you find fun. For me, it's probably a combination of all that.
I will say that for some reason, hearing that comment last night really pushed a button with me. I don't know why. It didn't make me throw seriousness out the window and decide to live it up. In fact, it pushed me in the opposite direction. My tension and self-consciousness became so palpable that anyone next to me surely felt their presence.
But what can I do to become more fun? There are plenty of things you can do to become more serious. You can return to school. You can get your first "real" job. You can do time. You can start wearing all black, smoke Gauloises and read too much Sylvia Plath (bad example -- that sounds like lots of fun). And you can usually get lots of support if you choose to get your act together. But what if you choose to loose it? Is there a way to train yourself to have fun? How can you get those around you to accept the new you, the one who's going to lighten up, even if it means changing some dynamics? Is there a School of Fun somewhere that teaches these things?
If so, please sign me up. I need to get loose. I need a redo. I need my button un-pushed.
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11 comments:
People that have fun are jerks. That's the statement I'm currently living with. While I'm all for the idea of having fun, my personality furls its brow and makes snarky remarks when I'm at a party (drunk people are too loud, and you guys are making a mess, etc., etc.)
These days I don't even go to parties because I know I'm going to be miserable. I don't like concerts for the same reason. I get bored with the music after about 15 minutes, and things are too expensive, and I have to deal with parking, and people are obnoxious and drunk, and I can't wait to get back home away from all this G.D.Fun.
I have been pointed as as a person who is (at least, occasionally) a funny person.
Do these correlate? I think not. Real humor comes from a place of frustration, hate, and general malaise. You can have cheerful stupid humor but when you look at that after its happened it's generally just not truly "funny."
Do I have any real answers for your dilemma? No. I'm in the same boat. I want to be a fun guy and have fun, but at heart I am a spectator. Able to appreciate fun from a hypothetical basis but in no way equipped with the social or mental disconnect to truly "have fun" like a true party animal.
Oh well. I love who I am, and you should, too.
Chin up.
Well, you're not the only one. I sometimes feel like I'm a little too serious sometimes, a little too concerned with what other people are going to think of me. We can both work on loosening up a little bit. We're certainly in the right crowd to learn!
For the record, I've never thought of you as unfun. I always have a great time when you're around. (Maybe I'm just unfun too) But obviously you take that role in some groups. And that's not an easy thing to change.
It's interesting you mention "changing some dynamics." I've been thinking about this a lot lately. While people may rag you for being "unfun," you became that way for a reason. It fills a need: for you, for them, for someone. It may not be healthy, but it works on some level.
For example, I am the OK girl. No matter what happens, I am OK. When I stopped being OK for like 48 hours, it threw the whole dynamic into a tailspin. And even though I wasn't OK, I pretended to be. Because people need me to be the OK girl.
Perhaps considering what role it fills for you to be the unfun girl would help you figure out how to change that. Then go for it.
really? Though I don't know you very well, I do not get the 'unfun' impression from you.
Maybe your current definition of fun is just different from the Fun People that speak Unfun of you.
(I would really like to use the word FUN one more time.)
FUN.
(Also, next time I see you I do expect you to be chain smoking Gauloises whilst drinking your wine.)
Totally feel your unfun pain. I'm not a drinker, never really have been. And lately I've tried and it's resulted in my praying to the porcelain god and now my friends look at me differently. I don't know how to adjust. So, I'm not.
True friends accept you for who you are. Or, at least they make fun of you for it- and that's just as good in my book.
Maybe I'm too lame. Oh well.
I know! Bring Flapjack & Lil' Goldfish & come to the Mardi Gras parade in Shreveport this weekend. That will show what a fun girl you are!
Come hang with me in LA and we'll have fun!! And I already think you're fun so I disagree.
Um, I was there when you were told you were "unfun." When this person felt the need to piss on your fun parade, we happened to have had used all of your fun for the night and you were just spent!
Just because you don't dance on tabletops(Uh or have pictures of it at least), drink until you're puking, or submit to someone else's immoral beliefs... doesn't mean you're "unfun."
For the record, if I ever run for office, Lola Land will be my henchman who talks smack on my behalf when I can't do it.
I got yo back. (But I changed my name). It's all part of our political game.
We all know I'm un-fun, too. But I'm one heck of a Designated Driver if you decide to go that route in pursuit of the ultimate fun.
Jules
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