I’m pretty much always on a quest to improve myself. Sure, there are times when I wallow in my mediocrity or take unnecessary pleasure in being bad. But for the most part, I swear, I’m working on it.
And I feel like I’m doing a pretty decent job of it. In fact, that’s why I celebrate getting older. Each year, it gets a bit easier to be the new and improved me. “If I’m this great at 35, just wait till I’m 50!” I think to myself.
Just kidding.
Sort of.
Anyhoo, I’ve read a couple of things lately that got me thinking about the person I want to be. I read this post by Seth Godin. I recognized myself in it. Yes, I said recognized, as in past tense. I used to amplify like a maniac. Not so much anymore. But it’s hard work, not being like that. It’s a conscious choice that must be made, many times each day.
I also read this post by Rachel Held Evans. In it, she talks about the character traits she wants to develop. But she used a phrase that, for some reason, really resonated with me. She used the phrase “default setting.” And it inspired me to make a list of what I want my default settings to be.
I’m going to imagine that everything I do is controlled by little switches, and that with each thought and action, I can choose to flip, or not flip, a switch that will affect the outcome. Just to be safe, I’m going to put my switches on the desired default setting in the beginning. Here’s what my defaults will be:
- accepting, not judgmental
- patient, not hasty
- leisurely, not harried
- quiet, not loud
- thoughtful, not careless
- attentive, not inconsiderate
- satisfied, not hungry
- informed, not ignorant
- calm, not irritable
- energetic, not tired
- rational, not crazy
- grounded, not flighty
- present, not disconnected
- on task, not scattered
- loving, not disdainful
- generous, not stingy
- adventurous, not timid
- rich, not impoverished
Are you going to work on all of those things at once? HOLY MOLY you are one ambitious woman. I am going to try for one. Though I am not sure it is a default. To be more aware of my own needs. I squash myself until my body screams at me to do something for me. By then I am crazy and screaming at my family and feeling resentful. A little something every day. That is my new default.
Are you going to work on all of those things at once? HOLY MOLY you are one ambitious woman. I am going to try for one. Though I am not sure it is a default. To be more aware of my own needs. I squash myself until my body screams at me to do something for me. By then I am crazy and screaming at my family and feeling resentful. A little something every day. That is my new default.
I agree with Stefanie–that list does look intimidating. I can only work on one thing at a time, and hope progress made in other areas doesn't completely backslide. This week, it is taking time to finish things.
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I wish I could write like you as Margaret Laurence once said “When I say “work” I only mean writing. Everything else is just odd jobs.”
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